LONG WEEKEND AHEAD

By which I mean I have a lot of social obligations coming at me:

Tonight I'm having Guy Time with Blogless Brother Tom

Friday night I have Beloved Wife's office Xmas party.

Working Saturday morning.

MY office Xmas party Saturday night.

A Packers party to attend with Beloved Wife's co-workers on Sunday,... I'm exhausted just thinking about it. 

I'll blog what I can in the tiny spaces between.

Oh, and remember to let Dana know if you want to be blogrolled under her BloggersWithBoobies or I Support BloggersWithBoobies special listing. Leave a comment anywhere on her blog or just e-mail her, or give a trackback to this post.

Oh, and remind me to send the Bartender a list of my smutty posts for the Champagne Room.

NEW PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT

What UN resolution(s) would you like to see passed?

It's like playing "What if you were king of the world, but no one would listen to you?"

PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ROUND-UP...

...is up at Alliance HQ. Most of the entries for the Donktionary were a little more snarky than funny, but SilverBlue had to get creative to disguise his closet liberalism, and wound up doing a damn fine job:

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Anti-American: see Pro-French.

Appeasement: An apartment made of peas.

Bigotry: Reverse of littlotry.

Censorship: To cause the removal of all boats and seagoing vessels from media.

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And Roxette took off to her own little planet (which is, no doubt, a fine place to be):

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Anti-American: Anyone who doesn't love me.
Appeasement: People who love me to get in with Silver Blue.
Bigotry: People who don't like blue rabbits.
Censorship: What should happen to people who don't like blue rabbits.
Conservative: Those who like rabbits, but only of a certain color.
Diversity: Rabbits of every color.
Europe: An area of the world where rabbits won't visit.
Fox News: Rabbits don't like foxes, so there's no news there.

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Oh, and my favorite line from Roxy:

Weapons of Mass Destruction: The Nuclear Carrot of Doom.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Love comes quietly…

But you know when it is there

Because suddenly…

You are not alone anymore…

And there is no sadness in you.

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



The other $48,999,999 is buried under the Big W.

YOU HAD ME AT HELLO

This from the New Blog Showcase: "Bestiality is a no-no" from Blown Fuse. It just grabs you from the start:

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Okay, first things first, sex is something that two mutually consenting human beings should do in the privacy of their own home...behind closed doors...with the lights off...under the covers...with clothes on.

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And it gets better from there.

CONFESSIONS

Ok, I liked John Denver because he did that Muppets Christmas special. So I'm voting for Seppo's Provincial Posting's "When John Denver Died":

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In the Karaoke bars of Asia there is a holy canon of Western artists you can always find no matter how decrepit the establishment. For the women, there’s Celine Dion, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper (no, really). For the men, there’s Sinatra, Elvis and John Denver. That mix has always perplexed me. I mean, Sinatra projects the pop-star fantasy and a bad Elvis impersonation is always good for a laugh, but John Denver?! What’s up with that? My Chinese buddy, Summer Hu, whose spoken English can barely locate him the toliet but who can nevertheless belt out a flawless, perfectly-accented version of Thank God I’m a Country Boy, answers this question: "Because he is easy to understand. And, very happy." (you gotta see his moon-pie face when he says that to really know what Summer means).

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He reminded me in this beautiful eulogy (which I recommend in its entirety) that, although John Denver wasn't "cool", there was really nothing bad you can say about the man.

CHAMPAGNE ROOM ROUND-UP

Coming this Sunday to a Cyber Saloon near you. Get your best smutty, sexy, dirty posts to the Bartender by Saturday noon. Late entries must be accompanied by porn spam.

I've been such a bad boy this week. I think I'm just going to submit my entire blog. Geez, did I have even one day where I didn't say something dirty?

By the way, Bartender, if you want this thing to take off, you should be posting Champagne Room pimping posts at your place on both Thursday & Friday. Folks got short memories. Probably from that methanol-laced bathtub gin you keep serving.

THIS IS TOO COOL

Via Beloved Wife, I found out that Chief Wiggles' toy drive for Iraqi kids got some coverage at the Fox News web site.

GIVING THE GALS A LITTLE SUPPORT

Dana of Note-It Posts, America's #1 pin-up girl, is a woman and damn proud of it. She will neither hide nor minimize that fact. Her femininity is part of who she is and everyone can just deal with it:

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I will not be ashamed of my sexuality or my pride in my body, and that includes my boobies. I will not androgenize myself in an effort to be treated as an equal. It has been my experience that if you expect equal treatment, you will get it. I am female, and I have all the bits. I am not afraid or ashamed to mention them. Let's acknowledge human nature now for just a second: talking about tits is not going to make men think about them any MORE than they already do, and refraining from talking about them isn't going to make them think about them any LESS. People I respect still respect me, even after mentioning my mammary glands. That's what counts.

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For other women bloggers who similarly revel in their womanhood, she has started BloggersWithBoobies: 

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a badge of pride for all strong, self-assured female bloggers (like me) who refuse to be ashamed about their femininity. We're the anti-feminists.

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Complete with an adorable logo which you can find at her site.

"But what about me?" I hear the men asking, "I like proud women, too! What can I do to help?"

Short of a sex-change operation, not much. It's a ladies-only thing.

But because I want to do what I can, I offer the little "supporters" logo in my sidebar. Feel free to copy and/or modify, but please host the image on your own image server.

Just my way of celebrating the beautifully-boobed bloggerettes that make my life so wonderful.

HOORAY FOR BLOGGERSWITHBOOBIES!

(hat tip to SilverBlue for the original picture) 

I'VE READ WAY TOO MUCH AYN RAND...

Because I thought the philosophical banter portion of Don's post was freakin' hilarious:

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“Have you ever let a girl tie you up?” she said.

“No,” I said. She slid my hands behind the bedpost and pulled my belt around them. She began kissing my neck, then down to my chest, then my stomach. Then she stood up.

“You know what I’d really like to do to you, Don from Anger Management?”

“What?” I said, barely able to speak.

“I’d like to quiz you on various interpretations of Hegel’s Absolute. In particular, the use of this concept to justify totalitarianism, especially of the Marxian vein.”

“Eh?”

Paris smiled. “Oh, come on Don. You’re a philosophy buff.”

“Yeah, but…”

“But what? Oh, right. I’m supposed to be some rich bimbo who doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground. And here I am spouting off about Idealism, Materialism, and other arcane philosophical concepts. Now, if I were an Objectivist like you, I would tell you to check your premises. I would say contradictions can’t exist, and therefore one of your premises – that I am dumb, or that I am knowledgeable about philosophy – is wrong and that you must, in the name of reason, reject one of them.”

“Exactly…”

“But I’m not an Objectivist,” Paris said. “I’m a proponent of dialectical materialism, and thereby purposely embrace contradictions rather than renounce them.”

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The rest of it is just dirty, but that's ok, too.

FLASH-FANTASY

No not this.

It's my term for when someone says something (whether innocent or suggestive), and I get a fast mental image of a sexually-charged scenario that I quickly banish from my thoughts so I can get back to focussing on the task at hand.

Yes, this happens to me a lot.

PRETTY SUNSET

Over at Lynn's place. Just look. It's beautiful.

I WANT THIS WOMAN!

So Susie FINALLY posted a picture of herself. I've always been a little nervous about that. I mean, what if she actually looked like Helen Thomas or something?

But it's all there, just the way I imagined it. Long dark hair with that slightly toussled, post-coital look. Those sleepy-sexy half-lidded eyes. And that outfit.... oooohhhhhh BABY! Short, Short, SHORT black skirt (not quite "fanservice", but VERY close). Not to mention that font-celebrating bustier...

If you'll excuse me, I have to... be alone for a while...

[space][space][space]...

UPDATE 1:50 PM CST: Having taken great offense at the Helen Thomas remark, Susie has provided me with photographic evidence of her charms. I hereby aplogize for using the H**** T***** word, and will now retire for a little "private meditation" on the image.

No, I'm not going to post it. Rumor has it that it's somewhere on the internet, so you can just go find it for yourself, or ask Susie.

KNOW THY ENEMY

Frank J has a guide to liberals including:

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* Liberals are always trying to save the environment because they are apparently dependent on it. If you want to kill all liberals, destroy the environment.

* Even if you satisfy liberals’ demands, they'll come up with new thing to complain about that you could never even imagine; they’re just that creative. That creativity is put towards much better use as forced labor in a coal mine.

* Liberals are always whining about tolerance, but, when I punch them for that, they get moody. Hey, be tolerant!

* You can tell if someone is a liberal by extracting some blood and seeing if it reacts violently to fire.

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Heh. Blogless Brother Tom knows ALL about that last one.

HOORAY!

The smartest woman in the blogosphere (Lynn of Reflections in d minor) finally, Finally, FINALLY got COMMENTS enabled on her blog! And her address has changed a little, so be sure to update your bookmarks.

Boy, I can't wait to start leaving "howdys" :-)

note to self: leave dirty mind at home. Lynn is a good girl.