TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



You know that thing they say about Fortune Cookie fortunes? It works with Graffiti Currency, too.

LAST LOSER!

Looks like I've got another trophy for my sidebar. The results are in for the 2003 Weblog Awards, and I came in DEAD FREAKING LAST in the Best Humor Blog category, with a miserable 15 votes out of the more than 5100 cast.

Since I've read Scrappleface, I know that there are 15 people who are incredibly dishonest. Or, more likely, 2 who have way too much time on their hands (Susie, Dana - looking your way).

In any event, I'd like to thank both all the people who voted for me against their better judgments. You folks are great :-)

MAKING THE CONNECTION

I know this sounds kinda tin-foil-hat & black helicopter, but bare with me.

Frank J., of IMAO, the world's funniest blogger (ok, third funniest) suddenly and inexplicably runs out of funny. On the same day, on the other side of the blogosphere, Trey Givens posts the funniest thing I've ever seen on his blog, and it has a suspiciously In My World flavor to it:

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Johnny Popo [a police officer]: Hello, citizens!

Fratly types: Wassap, cop-dude!?!

Johnny Popo: We have received a report of burned animal remains on the premises. Do you know if this is true?

Frat Boy Alpha: Yo, Cop-dude. It's, like, totally gnarly. See?

Johnny Popo: That is indeed quite gnarly, gentle citizen. What pray tell led to this grisly scene?

Frat Boy Beta: Whoa! You talk like that Willie Shake-a-stick dude who wrote all those plays that we read in my English 101 class!

Johnny Popo: Blank stare

Frat Boy Gamma: Shut up, 'tarded dude. You're such a homo.

Frat Boy Beta: You shut up, homo dude!

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Coincidence? Possibly.

On the other hand, we may be looking at a case of kidnapping and torture. Check it out for yourself & see what you think.

CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES #64...

... has been up for almost a week, and I finally had time today to look around. The best Carnivals have themes instead of just categories, so this one is one of the best ones I've seen. Take a look, if you haven't yet.

My favorite was RossWhite.com with "Ah, Tech Support". Being in customer service myself, the trials of dealing with the incredibly stupid are no stranger to me. But I personally wouldn't have the patience to walk this particularly computer illiterate dunderhead through all the steps that Ross did. I mean, how do you keep from hurling obscenities at someone who's not even familiar with copy and paste? My favorite lines are:

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Ross: Did you hit Ctrl + V, as in victory? Or vince?

Unnamed Teacher: Like B as in Boy?

Ross: No, V as in victim.

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Teacher didn't even catch that part. *snicker*.

BEST OF ME SYMPHONY...

...is up at Snooze Button Dreams. An interesting notion for a linky round-up: Submit your best post that's at least 2 months old.

I really like the format over there. Post name, blogger's name, blog's name, all laid out in easy-to-read boxes, with a short description of the post underneath.

And plenty of good stuff. For example, I discovered Susie, despite her claims to the contrary, leads an interesting life. Or at least she did before *I* started reading her blog. From way back in June, we have the tale of how one of her teen-age theater worker-drones wound up stuck on the roof of the building:

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Apparently our roof has two levels, and the little girl's shoe was on the lower one. Matt jumped down to it, tossed the little girl her shoe, and then couldn't get back up the seven foot wall to the level where the trap door is. So the cashier wanted the trainee to take our ladder upstairs, up a ladder to the trap door, through to the roof, and lower the ladder to the lower roof so Matt could climb up....while we had customers lined up to the street. Nope. No way, Jose.

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Of course, Susie's joy in the suffering of the helpless hasn't changed a bit, apparently.

*sigh* Is it any wonder I'm so in love? mmmm... crack that whip and punish me for being bad...